Movie
In Spite of Ourselves
Narrative tropes
A Parent's Shadow
mediumArchie's emotional identity is explicitly structured around his ailing father Frank — his guilt and avoidance of properly caring for Frank (refusing medication) is the anchor that shapes his entire relational dysfunction. Frank's death removes that structure and forces Archie toward the threshold of self-understanding, satisfying all three core requirements: a character defined in relation to a parent, a parental responsibility driving the central conflict, and an arc culminating in the character having to forge his own path and define himself on his own terms after the parent is gone.
About this trope: A character must grapple with the legacy of their parents or predecessors — living up to high standards, running from expectations, atoning for inherited sins, or forging their own path.
Movies that share these tropes
Full plot (spoilers)
In Spite of Ourselves follows Hannah (Conor Leslie), a talented but insecure baker in Portland who works under Jake, a narcissistic chef, while dreaming of opening her own restaurant. She is quietly coping with progressive hearing loss in one ear, fearing the risky surgery required to address it. Archie (Brett Dier) is an up-and-coming Los Angeles stand-up comedian who tours west-coast clubs with his friends Ben and Sam; he is emotionally avoidant, partly consumed by guilt over his father Frank, who lives in a senior care facility with advancing dementia. The two meet when Archie stops into Jake's restaurant in Portland looking for a cinnamon roll, sparking an immediate, electric connection. They spend two intense, blissful weeks together, and the chemistry is undeniable. When real life reasserts itself, each returns to their separate city: Hannah to her Portland kitchen and encroaching hearing loss, Archie to his LA comedy circuit and the weight of Frank's declining condition. Distance exposes what proximity had papered over — both characters are defined by avoidance and poor communication. Archie resists medicating Frank despite the aggression the untreated dementia causes; Hannah keeps postponing the surgery she needs. Their long-distance dynamic deteriorates as emotional baggage accumulates on both sides. The emotional climax arrives when Frank dies, leaving Archie without the anchor — however fraught — that had structured his avoidance. In the aftermath, Hannah ends the relationship, recognising that neither of them has done the individual work required for something lasting. The film closes on a deliberately open, unconventional note: the split is framed not as failure but as a necessary pause, with both characters arriving at the threshold of self-understanding that genuine partnership would eventually demand.
Sources: IMDb (search metadata), High on Films review, The Peach Review, Keith and the Movies review, TMDb overview